Episode 52

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Published on:

3rd Jul 2024

Soul Care for Women in Ministry: A Conversation with Mindy Caliguire

Join host Twanna Henderson on 'T Time Spiritual Conversations for, with, and about women' as she engages in an enlightening conversation with Mindy Caliguire, co-founder and president of Soul Care. Mindy shares her personal journey from pain and brokenness to discovering the importance of soul care, a practice she advocates for individuals, especially women and leaders in ministry.

Want to get connected with Mindy and her ministry?

Visit https://www.soulcare.com

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome

00:26 Meet Mindy Caliguire: Soul Care Advocate

02:12 Understanding Soul Care

05:15 Mindy's Journey to Soul Care

09:02 Barriers to Soul Care

14:47 Soul Care vs. Self Care

19:10 Practical Steps for Soul Care

23:22 The Importance of Spiritual Friendships

29:19 Connecting with Soul Care Ministry

31:32 Closing Prayer and Final Thoughts

For video versions of episode 48 and onward visit us on Youtube.

Transcript
Twanna Henderson:

Welcome to T Time Spiritual Conversations for, with and about women.

Twanna Henderson:

I'm your host, Twanna Henderson and as always, I want to remind you to like this broadcast and to definitely share it with someone in your life.

Twanna Henderson:

Well, I am so excited about our guest on today.

Twanna Henderson:

Our guest is Mindy Caliguire.

Twanna Henderson:

Mindy is the co founder and president of Soul Care, which is a ministry that partners with individuals, churches, organizations, and thought leaders.

Twanna Henderson:

She previously served in executive leadership at Glue, which is an organization that helps ministry leaders scale their impact through technology.

Twanna Henderson:

Mindy also served with the Willow Creek Association, now known as Global Leadership Network.

Twanna Henderson:

She speaks and advises into organizations including Compassion International.

Twanna Henderson:

ECFA, National Christian Foundation, and many churches and ministries across the U.S.

Twanna Henderson:

Mindy's books include Discovering Soul Care, Spiritual Friendship, Stir, and her newest book that will be released this September is Ignite Your Soul.

Twanna Henderson:

Mindy, welcome to T Time.

Mindy Caliguire:

Thank you, Twanna.

Mindy Caliguire:

I'm so delighted to be with you, and I love the name of the, of the whole podcast.

Mindy Caliguire:

This is a great name, T Time.

Mindy Caliguire:

Like that's so many layers of that.

Twanna Henderson:

Absolutely.

Twanna Henderson:

Well, thank you.

Twanna Henderson:

Thank you for agreeing to be with us on today.

Twanna Henderson:

I know we have talked and had conversations and just so excited about just delving into some things on today and who better to talk about soul care than the soul care, I'm going to call you the soul care expert.

Mindy Caliguire:

I'm certainly passionate about it.

Twanna Henderson:

I know that you are, and it's something that, you know, that you are just really good at.

Twanna Henderson:

And you know, we, that's a term that we really get tossed around a lot, soul care.

Twanna Henderson:

And I wonder if we really even know what it means.

Twanna Henderson:

So let's kind of start there and, and talk about what is soul care.

Mindy Caliguire:

Yeah.

Mindy Caliguire:

Yeah.

Mindy Caliguire:

I love, love that question.

Mindy Caliguire:

Love, love dealing with this topic.

Mindy Caliguire:

And usually when I, when I'm talking about what is it, I like to answer it on like kind of three levels.

Mindy Caliguire:

for me, soul care has been a way of life that came out of a season of great pain and brokenness in the midst of some, church planting and being a pastor's wife and, serving in leadership, and out of the wreckage, God just graciously led me on a new path of learning how to attend to the wellbeing of my own soul as a first order of priority, which really wouldn't have been on my radar prior to that.

Mindy Caliguire:

So soul care for me is a way of life.

Mindy Caliguire:

It's about building in the practices, relationships, rhythms that keep me connected to God in real time.

Mindy Caliguire:

In the midst of daily life.

Mindy Caliguire:

So it's a way of life for me personally but over the now many years since then, soul care has also become a message that I feel very compelled to help people wake up to the same reality of the centrality of their soul that is often even in very devoted Christian leadership and ministry is not talked about enough.

Mindy Caliguire:

I would say you're right, it's starting to kind of bubble up, but we haven't really had a lot of solid kind of thinking about what does this mean and why is it important?

Mindy Caliguire:

And so I feel really compelled by this as a message.

Mindy Caliguire:

So to me, it's a way of life.

Mindy Caliguire:

It's a message.

Mindy Caliguire:

And then thirdly, now soul care is an emerging entity.

Mindy Caliguire:

We have a team of people who are all working with me shoulder to shoulder, trying to figure out how do we come alongside organizations?

Mindy Caliguire:

How do we come alongside leaders?

Mindy Caliguire:

What kinds of courses could we create or resources or year round journeys, spiritual direction and coaching and a ton of things.

Mindy Caliguire:

So that's kind of my answer to what is soul care.

Mindy Caliguire:

It's, it's my own way of life.

Mindy Caliguire:

And I think a way of life that God invites each and every single one of us into, it's a message I feel compelled about.

Mindy Caliguire:

And it's an organization that's kind of growing and taking shape.

Mindy Caliguire:

Some people who are experts in business, I know you have a lot of different backgrounds Twanna, that you hats that you wear.

Mindy Caliguire:

It's almost like a 27 year old startup because it's been around for a long time, but we're still, it was never my full time focus until a couple of years ago.

Twanna Henderson:

So that's what soul care is.

Twanna Henderson:

Okay.

Twanna Henderson:

I think that's an excellent answer.

Twanna Henderson:

And, you know, you talked about it coming out of your pain and brokenness.

Twanna Henderson:

I did not know that you were a pastor's wife or church planter's wife because, you know, I am as well.

Mindy Caliguire:

I know you

Twanna Henderson:

are.

Twanna Henderson:

So, so I did not know.

Twanna Henderson:

Well, yeah, you, you have a lot of pain and brokenness.

Twanna Henderson:

But let's talk about that.

Twanna Henderson:

Let's kind of talk about that a little bit.

Twanna Henderson:

I mean, not necessarily the pain and brokenness unless you choose to, but how you actually got involved in the work of soul care.

Mindy Caliguire:

Yeah.

Mindy Caliguire:

I don't ever mind sharing some of the, the pain, because I think in the end it gives glory to God.

Mindy Caliguire:

It's not glorifying tragedy.

Mindy Caliguire:

It's saying, even in our darkest hours, when we feel there is no hope, and, and many pastors, you know, pastors, wives, women in ministry in particular, we can find ourselves in some very isolated situations.

Mindy Caliguire:

And.

Mindy Caliguire:

The more isolated we are, the more frankly at risk we are.

Mindy Caliguire:

It's, it's just, and this was 20 some years ago, nevermind a pandemic and all the other things that have been quite isolating to us, in leadership in recent years.

Mindy Caliguire:

So for me, Yeah, I just, I was in a world of hurt, but you know, every Sunday I'm singing "It is Well with My Soul" because it is well with my soul and I'm saved and I didn't have a way of thinking about whether my soul was actually okay or not, even if it's saved.

Mindy Caliguire:

So.

Mindy Caliguire:

That those, you know, I'm happy to, if you want to romp around in any of that history, I'm happy to share it.

Mindy Caliguire:

but just for women listening, if you're a pastor's wife, if you're out in the middle of an isolating circumstance, even if you're surrounded by people and people who probably do love you, you can feel very alone and, and the Lord is with you in that.

Mindy Caliguire:

but it can be hard to access the sense of God's nearness anyway.

Mindy Caliguire:

So your question was more about how am I, how I've been brought into communicating this message.

Mindy Caliguire:

Yeah.

Mindy Caliguire:

Yeah.

Mindy Caliguire:

You know, here's the kind of fun thing.

Mindy Caliguire:

I've been talking about a little bit more lately.

Mindy Caliguire:

the more you take care of your soul and resolve, frankly, to only live out of the overflow of what God's doing in your life,

Mindy Caliguire:

and it's almost hard to imagine that when you're in a place of really hard deficit, but you do get to a place where your own soul's vitality is restored and the Lord is, you know, activating all of your natural gifting and things like that.

Mindy Caliguire:

And it's coming out of overflow rather That's sort of strident,

Mindy Caliguire:

oh my gosh, I got to make all this happen feeling.

Mindy Caliguire:

And when that happens, God just started open.

Mindy Caliguire:

When it happened for me, God just started opening doors to me to help bring this message to other people.

Mindy Caliguire:

We started off creating a little journaling resource that is still a free download on our website.

Mindy Caliguire:

Even to today, this has gone into the stores all over the country.

Mindy Caliguire:

It's been a free download for, Oh, the better part of a decade or more now.

Mindy Caliguire:

And it's just called "Write For Your Soul".

Mindy Caliguire:

And it was just a little, a little guide on how to use a journal as an invitation to self reflection as a way to care for your soul.

Mindy Caliguire:

And, I mean, Twanna from there, God just kept giving me other opportunities to create resources or experiences or just to share my story, which oddly enough sometimes would be helpful to people.

Mindy Caliguire:

So I kind of came into it, I guess, out of health, out of just, out of God saying, Hey, go talk to this person, listen to this person's story, that kind of stuff.

Twanna Henderson:

You know, so often, we don't share our, our stories and don't really

Twanna Henderson:

realize how important it

Twanna Henderson:

is to share our stories and, and how much we are alike.

Twanna Henderson:

I think when we share our stories, we realize that we are so much more alike than we are different.

Twanna Henderson:

And, and just having that freedom to be able to share our stories, what would you say are some of the biggest barriers to people really taking care of their souls?

Mindy Caliguire:

Yeah.

Mindy Caliguire:

I mean, one for sure is that it's not even on their radar.

Mindy Caliguire:

Like it's hard to be attentive to taking care of something that you didn't really even know.

Mindy Caliguire:

It's like, if, imagine if your car had some like major part that everything depended on and you were driving it for 25 years, 30 years, and all of a sudden that part stopped working.

Mindy Caliguire:

And you're like, wait, why did no one tell me that I had to pay attention to the thing?

Mindy Caliguire:

And you know, we, we spend a lot of time and rightly so, attending to things that are central to something functioning.

Mindy Caliguire:

Like if something needs to function well, then we got to make sure we have access to power and heat and whatever.

Mindy Caliguire:

In the domain of the soul, in most spiritual contexts that I grew up in, and I think it's true of many people, the only time we talked about the human soul was with reference to its eternal destiny.

Mindy Caliguire:

So souls were either lost or found, they were saved or unsaved, but we didn't have a way, at least I didn't have a way of thinking about, Oh my goodness, my soul.

Mindy Caliguire:

It's my life.

Mindy Caliguire:

It, you know, biblically understood your soul is not some like inert little thing that gets a Jesus bumper sticker on it.

Mindy Caliguire:

It's actually what holds together all the dimensions of your personhood and as it goes with the soul

Mindy Caliguire:

so it goes with your whole life.

Mindy Caliguire:

And.

Mindy Caliguire:

That's not, that's not how I was taught to think about it.

Mindy Caliguire:

And so I think that's one of the biggest reasons people, we have a hard time caring for our soul.

Mindy Caliguire:

And so if it's just like an optional thing that like, if you've got nothing better to do with your time, no woman in ministry has never gotten anything, nothing better to do with their time.

Twanna Henderson:

Right.

Mindy Caliguire:

Right.

Mindy Caliguire:

It's like, kids need this, family needs this, husband needs that, ministry needs this.

Mindy Caliguire:

Attending to your own wellbeing will just keep dropping further and further and further down that list unless you have a rationale or reason to reprioritize it.

Mindy Caliguire:

And I, so anyway, I think that's a lot of it is we don't have any awareness, but even once we do.

Mindy Caliguire:

you know, the pressures of life can be pretty demanding.

Mindy Caliguire:

It's, it's very loud.

Mindy Caliguire:

And, and so like sometimes our only discipleship or ways to take care of the soul that we, we learned growing up where we'll just read your Bible and pray, have a quiet time.

Mindy Caliguire:

And we haven't really broadened our sort of the aperture, our view of life with God to a much more comprehensive way that our soul can stay alive to God in the midst of things.

Mindy Caliguire:

And, and, and the dark secret, like hopefully nobody will mind if I say this, but like you can burn through a 45 minute quiet time and never have your soul actually open up to God.

Mindy Caliguire:

Nobody told us that nobody told me that.

Twanna Henderson:

Yeah.

Twanna Henderson:

And so your mind is all over the place.

Twanna Henderson:

You're thinking about what you have to do and you're all this kind of stuff,

Mindy Caliguire:

Right!

Mindy Caliguire:

And, and, and the, the discomfort that can be learned, we learned to be comfortable with the discomfort of just resting your soul in God's care and he can do whatever he wants.

Mindy Caliguire:

He can speak through scripture or through a journal or through silence or whatever it is.

Mindy Caliguire:

Or walking in nature or the conversation with a friend, all of these things can be ways that we stay alive to God, but sometimes are sort of what counts as time with God was, was just kind of a pretty narrow list that can get a little stale and not helpful.

Mindy Caliguire:

I'm not saying that obviously time in scripture is always a good thing, but when people start getting into burnout and we've heard many of their stories,

Mindy Caliguire:

I don't know how to say that you can read scripture, your head can be engaged with it, but it doesn't refresh.

Twanna Henderson:

Hmm.

Mindy Caliguire:

And that's a very scary place for us to be because we're like, well, now what?

Mindy Caliguire:

This was the only thing I knew sort of work.

Mindy Caliguire:

And so we have to find new, fresh ways, even of engaging in scripture.

Mindy Caliguire:

We have to find new ways of being with God, if we're going to be able to overcome the resistances that, you know, we were talking about, like, what are, what are some of the barriers?

Mindy Caliguire:

Well, maybe we don't know some new ways of.

Mindy Caliguire:

being in God's care, resting in his presence.

Mindy Caliguire:

so priority prioritization is one sort of ways to do this is another.

Mindy Caliguire:

Those, those I think are some pretty common barriers that I encounter with people.

Twanna Henderson:

So would it be fair to say that just all of the distractions that we have, all of the different things that we encounter, all of the things that we prioritize, you know, all of those things that, cause us to put our time and our attention and our heart, you know, in all these different places so that we're not, attentive to our soul.

Twanna Henderson:

Is there a difference between soul care and self care?

Mindy Caliguire:

I think there is.

Mindy Caliguire:

I think there is, at least in how it's generally understood.

Mindy Caliguire:

If you really pushed me on the theological, I, I might, you know, I might, I might say it differently, but generally speaking, when we talk about self care in our culture, it's like a bubble bath at the end of the day, it's making sure you're eating nutritious foods.

Mindy Caliguire:

It's, it's getting out to do fun things and making sure you're laughing and it's just, it's, it's sort of whole person well being, that I think is important.

Mindy Caliguire:

I think God absolutely cares about, but one friend of mine, she said, I could have a bunch of bubble baths and never actually be talking to God.

Mindy Caliguire:

Yeah.

Mindy Caliguire:

And that's what starts pushing us over into what is soul care.

Mindy Caliguire:

What's distinct about soul care?

Mindy Caliguire:

And to me, soul care is anything I'm intentional about placing myself, in a, in a, in a circumstance or a posture of awareness of what God's doing and saying in my life.

Mindy Caliguire:

And then responsive responsiveness to it.

Mindy Caliguire:

So any spiritual practice, anything I'm intentional about that carves out that time and space to pay attention to and be responsive to the ongoing work of God in our life.

Mindy Caliguire:

Like we're not inventing it.

Mindy Caliguire:

God is the one who's always at work, but we can be responsive to it or not.

Mindy Caliguire:

And so that's how I would think about the differences.

Mindy Caliguire:

Self care also really good and important.

Mindy Caliguire:

Soul care, I will say is the deeper driver of overall guidance that we want to receive from God, even on what would be healthy self care routines.

Mindy Caliguire:

Well, maybe the Lord has some ideas about that that we could learn from.

Twanna Henderson:

So would you say, or is it fair to say that women in particular have a hard time with soul care?

Mindy Caliguire:

Twanna, I wish this weren't the case, but yes, I, I really do.

Mindy Caliguire:

I think all people struggle with it.

Mindy Caliguire:

our, self reliance is sort of the opposite of living out of soul care.

Mindy Caliguire:

So I think we all have a strong human propensity to self reliance.

Mindy Caliguire:

It's uncomfortable to live as a dependent being.

Mindy Caliguire:

but I find that women in particular struggle with, feeling permission to take care of themselves

Mindy Caliguire:

and

Mindy Caliguire:

it's pretty deeply ingrained.

Mindy Caliguire:

Even if, even if somebody around you tells you, Oh, well, yeah, yeah, of course you should do that.

Mindy Caliguire:

If, if you can't sort of let yourself off the hook of making sure the laundry is done, making sure everything else is done, making sure all the things are done.

Mindy Caliguire:

And then you're sort of the lowest person on the, on the list.

Mindy Caliguire:

I just find that it's a pretty common mentality for women.

Mindy Caliguire:

And, and in Christian circles, you know, it is both our desire and often a bit of our identity in relationships that we're the helper.

Mindy Caliguire:

We're the one that, you know, as long as there's any other need, the helper springs to action and that is, you know, certainly I think everybody probably knows the word used in Genesis of, of Eve being created as the helper is the same word that's used of God as the helper of Israel.

Mindy Caliguire:

It's, it was certainly not, a pejorative or, inferior word and, and yet it's part of our identity, part of human identity to serve and to love and to give sacrificially to help.

Mindy Caliguire:

But I don't think we are supposed to serve and give and sacrifice and help in such a way that our own souls start dying.

Mindy Caliguire:

Yeah.

Mindy Caliguire:

And that's what ends up happening.

Mindy Caliguire:

But for women, it's hard.

Mindy Caliguire:

It's, it's pretty ingrained in our culture, that as long as there's any need sitting around unmet, we're sort of supposed to be on.

Twanna Henderson:

We'll meet it.

Mindy Caliguire:

Yeah.

Twanna Henderson:

Yeah.

Twanna Henderson:

Yeah.

Mindy Caliguire:

Go get it.

Twanna Henderson:

So then, what are some practical ways, I mean, I know there are people listening to this and saying, yeah, I agree with that.

Twanna Henderson:

Practically then, how do I, how do I care for my soul in the midst of daily life?

Mindy Caliguire:

Yeah.

Mindy Caliguire:

I have a three part thing that is always my answer to this, and it has lots of room to explore what works for you and your context.

Mindy Caliguire:

But these three things are really helpful.

Mindy Caliguire:

And if you can bear them in mind, and the first is, I just call it, it's a page, a person in a plan.

Mindy Caliguire:

You need a page, a person in a plan.

Mindy Caliguire:

The page is like a journal, the invitation to reflection and friends, a lot of times we really do become those human doings and we don't know how to stop and just be a human being and really reflect on who am I, what am I concerned about?

Mindy Caliguire:

Where is God at work in my life?

Mindy Caliguire:

There's a bazillion questions you can ask yourself.

Mindy Caliguire:

And it's valuable even from a neurological perspective to physically write those things down.

Mindy Caliguire:

What, what am I learning?

Mindy Caliguire:

What am I seeing?

Mindy Caliguire:

What am I praying about?

Mindy Caliguire:

Using a journal as a place to pray.

Mindy Caliguire:

That's the page.

Mindy Caliguire:

It can take a lot of forms, but the page, and we have a ton of resources on our website that are like just free downloads for journaling resources.

Mindy Caliguire:

The second one is a person and Twanna, we, this is the one area that I think women might have a little bit of a superpower, in terms of our, relational capacities.

Mindy Caliguire:

Generally speaking, these are general characteristics, but our ability to draw people's story out, our ability to ask and mean meaningful questions about how people are like spiritual friendships and relationships that have

Mindy Caliguire:

at their core, not just hanging out and having fun, but like, how is this relationship helping me on my journey with God?

Mindy Caliguire:

And how am I helping my sister, my friend with her journey with God?

Mindy Caliguire:

The person one of the page person in a plan is, is really recognizing that intentionality around friendships or could be a therapist, a counselor, a spiritual director, coach, anybody, but we have got to have

Mindy Caliguire:

a safe, what we call a safe third space, which is a space where you can be perfectly honest about what's really going on in your life without fear of judgment or recrimination or shame or anything.

Mindy Caliguire:

It's a certain kind of relationship that still has an eye to where is God at work and how are we being responsive to it.

Mindy Caliguire:

Oh my goodness.

Mindy Caliguire:

One of the most transformational, practices is those kinds of relationships.

Mindy Caliguire:

So the page, the person invitation to reflection invitation to connection.

Mindy Caliguire:

And the third one is a, is a plan.

Mindy Caliguire:

It's kind of like, what's your intentionality around a soul care plan?

Mindy Caliguire:

Not, you know, for like the next 10 years, but like maybe the next 90 days, what would you want your level of connection with God to be like 90 days from now.

Mindy Caliguire:

And what are some ways that the Lord may be inviting you into just some, maybe even baby steps of intentionality with that?

Mindy Caliguire:

Would you incorporate a bit of silence into your day?

Mindy Caliguire:

Would you, do an audio experience of scripture that helps open you up to God's word in a different way than just sitting in on your chair with your Bible?

Mindy Caliguire:

Like, What are the different things you could be intentional?

Mindy Caliguire:

Do you need a half day of solitude someday?

Mindy Caliguire:

Do you need to just get away?

Mindy Caliguire:

carve out some time, have, some guidance for it, or just do it on your own.

Mindy Caliguire:

I know for me, in ministry, especially in the pastor wife days, when I was trying to get healthier, I mean, it felt like it took an act of Congress to get someone to be able to take care of my kids so I could get away just for half a day, like once a month, but it was worth the negotiation to get to that because

Mindy Caliguire:

I needed to get to a space where I wasn't on and I could just be with God, even if it was for a half day.

Mindy Caliguire:

Like if you can take a week, do, if you can take two days, do, but if all you can get is a half a day, once a month, do that because you need time, but you got to plan it.

Mindy Caliguire:

It won't just, you won't just float into this, it's going to take some intentionality.

Twanna Henderson:

Now I wanna go back to person because I know one of your books is spiritual friendships.

Twanna Henderson:

Mm-Hmm.

Twanna Henderson:

. Are friendships vital to our soul?

Mindy Caliguire:

Yes.

Mindy Caliguire:

Did you say why?

Twanna Henderson:

Are they?

Mindy Caliguire:

I think they're indispensable.

Mindy Caliguire:

I, I believe, I believe each of us is at, is the level of risk for burnout, dropout flame out in our lives is directly proportional to how isolated we are.

Twanna Henderson:

Mm-Hmm.

Twanna Henderson:

. Mindy Caliguire: I'm sorry, I think even more isolating being the pastor is the pastor's wife.

Twanna Henderson:

Because it's very tricky now, God willing, someday, maybe not too far in the future, we'll have some new norms around all this stuff.

Twanna Henderson:

But as it exists right now, pastor's wives are usually some of the loneliest people in a church.

Twanna Henderson:

I know, a pastor's wife while I was in my total, you know, everything was burning kind of stage.

Twanna Henderson:

A woman who had had a very bad run in, in her former church in a city in Texas, her husband and she had moved and in the year prior to the reassignment to a new place.

Twanna Henderson:

And it was such a painful implosion for them in their prior assignment through their denomination that she, she knew she needed friends, but she was praying for a year for God to open a door for a friendship who in her words would be a ministry peer, somebody wasn't part of her church, somebody who did understand the demands and pressures of church leadership and of the calling to that kind of service.

Twanna Henderson:

she moved, she got assigned to a church in like our church met in a different town, but we lived in this town.

Twanna Henderson:

She was literally the closest actual house to where I was living because it was on the other side of a park.

Twanna Henderson:

And we began meeting weekly for prayer.

Twanna Henderson:

Every Friday around lunchtime, she would come up like 11 o'clock in the morning and we would pray for our husbands.

Twanna Henderson:

We would pray for our churches, pray for our kids, pray for what was going on in our town and our community.

Twanna Henderson:

And out of that grew such a beautiful friendship.

Twanna Henderson:

And I believe the proximity that we had to one another was absolutely the Lord answering the cry of her heart.

Twanna Henderson:

I didn't even have enough wisdom to pray for that kind of a thing, but she knew what she, what she needed.

Twanna Henderson:

And, and a lot of, a lot of the things, I mean, most of the transformation that's happened in my life, and it's probably true of anyone who's listening too, we can trace back, it's people.

Twanna Henderson:

It's people who open us up to new ways of thinking about God, new ways of relating to other people.

Twanna Henderson:

And I think that's by God's design.

Twanna Henderson:

I mean, how much, how many Bible verses tell you, you know, different ways of prayer?

Twanna Henderson:

There's many.

Twanna Henderson:

How many Bible verses tell you how to engage with scripture.

Twanna Henderson:

There's a few.

Twanna Henderson:

How many Bible verses talk about how we should relate to each other?

Twanna Henderson:

It's kind of a lot.

Twanna Henderson:

Yeah.

Mindy Caliguire:

And Henry Cloud was one of the first people, who talked about the relationships in the body of Christ was God's plan A for transformation.

Twanna Henderson:

Yep.

Twanna Henderson:

Yep.

Mindy Caliguire:

So anyway, I think, I think spiritual friendships are vital.

Mindy Caliguire:

In fact, that's the other book.

Mindy Caliguire:

"Stir" is spiritual transformation in relationship and "Stir" was more like a strategic book for people in church leadership to be thinking about discipleship systems and how, because usually disciples, people who are trying to figure out discipleship at a church, they're usually thinking of a content framework.

Mindy Caliguire:

Well, first people need to learn this and then they need to learn this and then they need to.

Mindy Caliguire:

And content has its place.

Mindy Caliguire:

I'm not saying it doesn't, but if you don't have a vision for how people's relational dynamics need to change as they grow, you'll miss some of the biggest kinds of spiritual formation that I think can happen in the body of Christ.

Mindy Caliguire:

But anyway, anyway, yeah, I think for pastors wives, women in ministry, it gets harder and harder, the more senior your role.

Mindy Caliguire:

And I believe it's more and more essential.

Twanna Henderson:

Yeah, that's good.

Twanna Henderson:

That's good.

Twanna Henderson:

and I hope that anyone who's listening, who's in that space, whether a pastor's wife or a woman in ministry serving, that can be a difficult place because, finding that peer relationship, because I think, you know, I've dealt with women who, have found that to be a challenge because so many times people in their lives want them to be

Twanna Henderson:

the expert or whatever it be, whatever, as opposed to just being a regular person who has issues and flaws and concerns and all these different things and not really having permission to say, hey, I'm flawed as well.

Twanna Henderson:

And I just, you know, need a friend.

Mindy Caliguire:

Oh, I mean, I'm sure we've all heard horror stories about women in ministries, pastors, wives who shared a prayer request, thinking it was a safe place to talk about.

Mindy Caliguire:

I'm not sure we have enough money to get the roof replaced and it's leaking.

Mindy Caliguire:

And all of a sudden there's criticism that she doesn't have faith.

Mindy Caliguire:

The pastor doesn't.

Mindy Caliguire:

I mean, it's just, things get so distorted and some people want to be your friend for the wrong reasons.

Twanna Henderson:

Yeah.

Mindy Caliguire:

And you got to learn who you can trust with your actual stories.

Mindy Caliguire:

All that stuff is in that spiritual friendship book.

Mindy Caliguire:

Yeah.

Mindy Caliguire:

It,

Twanna Henderson:

yeah.

Mindy Caliguire:

It's not for the faint of heart, but don't give up ladies.

Mindy Caliguire:

You need each other,

Twanna Henderson:

hang in there.

Twanna Henderson:

So Mindy, let me, this, this is so good.

Twanna Henderson:

We can just go on and on and on.

Twanna Henderson:

How can people get connected to the work of Soul Care today and how can they connect with you and your ministry?

Mindy Caliguire:

Oh guys, we would be delighted to serve you in whatever way we can.

Mindy Caliguire:

A couple thoughts.

Mindy Caliguire:

One is join our mailing list because we put stuff out every week.

Mindy Caliguire:

That's just an encouragement to whoever's on that list to keep remembering to care for your soul easily forgotten, easily lost along the way.

Mindy Caliguire:

Just a gentle nudge, a reminder in your inbox.

Mindy Caliguire:

And then we have an online community called the Soul Care Collective that's, completely free to join, and we offer things seasonally through Lent, through Advent.

Mindy Caliguire:

We have a monthly semi silent retreat.

Mindy Caliguire:

If you can carve out three hours, we'll help you spend some time with God.

Mindy Caliguire:

That's all free and available on our website on that, semi, on the,

Mindy Caliguire:

Soul Care Collective.

Mindy Caliguire:

And then, we have courses with a free burnout course that's on there that, people could find.

Mindy Caliguire:

We're, we're seeing more and more people in there.

Mindy Caliguire:

I think there's even a group on the collective that's for pastors wives now that I think about it.

Mindy Caliguire:

Yeah, we, we would just love to come alongside and serve you guys however we can.

Mindy Caliguire:

and that website is soulcare.com.

Mindy Caliguire:

Yes.

Mindy Caliguire:

Yes.

Mindy Caliguire:

I probably should have said that.

Mindy Caliguire:

Yeah.

Mindy Caliguire:

Go check out soulcare.com.

Mindy Caliguire:

We'd love to have you come visit, the collective is collective.soulcare.com as all one big URL collective.soulcare.com and it's available on a web browser and you can also use an app that we, we are using.

Mindy Caliguire:

It's called Mighty Network.

Mindy Caliguire:

So you can just use that.

Mindy Caliguire:

We'd love to have you there.

Twanna Henderson:

Well,

Mindy Caliguire:

send me a note on the collective.

Mindy Caliguire:

You can send me a little message.

Mindy Caliguire:

I'd love to say hi.

Twanna Henderson:

Yeah, that would be so good.

Twanna Henderson:

and I'm so glad that you have so much information that's free for people.

Twanna Henderson:

So there's always news, you know, and I want to encourage our listeners to definitely, get her books.

Twanna Henderson:

including the new book that's coming out in September, Ignite Your Soul.

Twanna Henderson:

So that just sounds like that's going to be a wonderful one.

Twanna Henderson:

Now, Mindy, I know there are people who are listening to this podcast who are on the journey of soul care.

Twanna Henderson:

and even those who, as you said, need permission to kind of take themselves to that place of soul care.

Twanna Henderson:

Can you just take a moment before we end and pray for them and for all of those who are really trying to get to a place of soul health?

Mindy Caliguire:

Love it.

Mindy Caliguire:

I would be honored.

Mindy Caliguire:

yeah, just join with us, join your heart with us and close your eyes if it's safe to do so.

Mindy Caliguire:

And just remember that we are surrounded by the presence of the living God and he knows you inside and out.

Mindy Caliguire:

He knows.

Mindy Caliguire:

He knows your heart, he knows your desires and dreams, he knows your fears, he knows, he knows everything.

Mindy Caliguire:

He knows the tears that you cry that no one else sees.

Mindy Caliguire:

So God, I pray, that in this next season, these, your beloved daughters,

Mindy Caliguire:

God, would you release them from any false narrative that says they don't have permission.

Mindy Caliguire:

God, we know that you give them permission.

Mindy Caliguire:

You elevated women.

Mindy Caliguire:

You went out of your way to be with them.

Mindy Caliguire:

God, would you go out of your way, even in the next 24 hours of whenever they're listening to this, to meet with each one, let her sense your nearness, let her sense the invitation.

Mindy Caliguire:

Let her sense you saying, yes, you have permission, my daughter, take some time to rest, rest in me, rest in hope, rest in enough.

Mindy Caliguire:

And God, we also ask that you would create new bonds between women, that there would be safe relationships that would open the floodgates of your spirit to move among us to bring great healing and hope and health.

Mindy Caliguire:

God, for those who are just really crispy and burnt and tired and maybe giving up hope even today

Mindy Caliguire:

man, and the scripture coming to mind.

Mindy Caliguire:

Is "A bruised reed you will not break and a smoldering wick you will not put out."

Mindy Caliguire:

God we ask for you to breathe new life breathe fresh energies

Mindy Caliguire:

not born of strong, white knuckled resolve to go do more, but out of an invitation

Mindy Caliguire:

to allow you to restore health and life to their souls.

Mindy Caliguire:

So God, that's our prayer.

Mindy Caliguire:

We pray that, women involved in leadership and standing alongside spouses.

Mindy Caliguire:

In key roles, God, that they would be strengthened from the inside out, that trying to give out of a vacuum would not happen anymore, and that they would take the time and space that they need to heal and restore as you guide.

Mindy Caliguire:

But that one day, God, that there would be, an overflow of your spirit's work in and through them.

Mindy Caliguire:

coming out of overflow.

Mindy Caliguire:

So that's our prayer for your people, for your women, for those who are listening.

Mindy Caliguire:

And we pray this in Jesus name.

Mindy Caliguire:

Amen.

Twanna Henderson:

Amen.

Twanna Henderson:

Well, Mindy, thank you so much for joining us today.

Twanna Henderson:

This has been really, really, really, really good.

Twanna Henderson:

and I'm looking forward to working with you, in the future on some things to, to help women engage in soul care.

Mindy Caliguire:

Twanna, I like dreaming with you about that stuff.

Mindy Caliguire:

Absolutely.

Mindy Caliguire:

I look forward to it.

Twanna Henderson:

To all of our listeners, thank you for joining us today.

Twanna Henderson:

I'm Twanna Henderson.

Twanna Henderson:

Be blessed of the Lord.

Show artwork for T Time: Spiritual conversations For, With and About Women.

About the Podcast

T Time: Spiritual conversations For, With and About Women.
T Time: Spiritual Conversations For, With and About Women a new podcast featuring Dr. Twanna Henderson, with special guest appearances in every episode. You will hear true inspirational stories from other women and about other women. Each episode will feel like you are sitting in on a very special gathering with some of your most life-giving friends over a cup of tea. Whether you are a working professional, serving in ministry, a stay-at-home mom or an empty nester, this podcast is for you.