When Business and Marriage Meet

Twanna Henderson: Welcome to T Time: Spiritual Conversations For, With, and About Women. I'm your host, Twanna Henderson. And as always, I want to remind you to like this broadcast and to definitely share it with someone in your life. Well, I have a very interesting guest with us today. Today's guest is Mike Harvey. Mike is a seasoned entrepreneur with nearly two decades of business ownership under his belt, as a driving force behind 511 Media Group. He's on a mission to promote the values of faith, family, and freedom. With five years in podcasting, he currently oversees the production of five shows, reaching an audience of over 25,000. He has been married to Davia for 16 years almost, and has three children. Mike, welcome to T Time.

Mike Harvey: Hey, Twanna, it's great to be here. Thank you so much for having me on. I'm excited to have a conversation, hopefully bless some of the ladies that are listening.

Twanna Henderson: Absolutely. So glad to have you, because you know we've been trying to connect for a couple of months now.

Mike Harvey: Yes ma'am. We sure have.

Twanna Henderson: You're such a busy person. So, I'm glad that we've got this time to connect now. And I want to kind of really just jump right in, because, you know, I want to just kind of talk about that busy life that you have.

Mike Harvey: Sure.

Twanna Henderson: I know, one of the things that we talked about is just how you and your wife kind of partner in business and partner in ministry. And I'm sure that can be a challenge in and of itself. So I want to just ask you just starting out talking about just family. How did the two of you start working together? And what was your journey as it relates to the two of you coming together in that partnership?

Mike Harvey: Sure. So, you know, what was funny is we met at my parents house. So we've always been pretty involved in church. And I would say always, like, I've had my seasons of being a knucklehead, too. So but, but, you know, she was on their worship team. My parents were leading the college ministry at their church at the time, and they had a worship practice over at their house. So, I just moved back from Southern California, back to Bakersfield, California, and came over and my wife's and my story differ a little bit here. But so she had really liked my family, which, you know, there's a lot to love about my family, they're good people. And she was like, well, you know, they have a sister and you know, I have a sister, I have a little brother. She's like, but I'm not really interested in a little brother. She saw a picture of me in my senior picture from playing football way back then, in high school and she said, "who is that?" And my parents were like, "oh, we got another son." She's like, "oh, really?" So I ran into her there at the worship practice. And I was there with another friend of mine. And she, we get to talking and they walk out with us, and then they come back inside. And my dad said, "hey, listen, you know what, I'm so sorry. I won't let them come back. Those boys won't bother you anymore." Well, little did he know, we had a conversation just prior to her coming back in the house. And I asked her, you know, the two girls I said, and I knew her friend from previous. And I said, "well, you know, do you guys want to do something together after you get done here" or whatever, and this where I kind of deviate a little bit. But she pushed her friend aside and said, "here's my number" right away. So, we went out that night, and she is more of an introvert than I am by far. And, you know, we didn't talk much because me and my friend and her friend all knew each other from growing up and stuff. So she didn't talk a whole lot. But then, you know, we still kind of hit it off. And she called me the next day. And, and she said, "hey, would you like to go to a movie tonight?" And I was like, "you know, how about tomorrow?" And the funny part of that story is, I was actually on a date with another girl that night.

Twanna Henderson: Oh my goodness!

Mike Harvey: But so that was the only night that we'd spent apart. And then from then on it was every single day from then on, we were together.

Twanna Henderson: Oh, wow.

,: 2007

Twanna Henderson: Oh, now that's a great story. That's a great story. And hopefully she will say the same thing.

Mike Harvey: Oh, yeah.

Twanna Henderson: So how did the two of you start working together?

Mike Harvey: Well, so when, originally when I first started in business, you know, I was working by myself. And I was like, "well, I'd really like you to come work for me." So she graduated high school, or excuse me College. Not high school. She graduated college, and I said, "okay, well, why don't we work together?" So we tried that for a little bit. And the job I had her initially do was just not a fit for her. Because what I had her do was cold calling as an introvert, that was not the best fit. So we bumped heads a little bit along that way. But eventually, we kind of worked it out and got there. So she, now at this point, she's, you know, involved to a degree but not, you know, 40 hours a week. I run all of my decisions by her. I trust her judgment more than anybody.

Twanna Henderson: Smart man!

Mike Harvey: Well, there's been way too many times where I didn't and realized, "oh, yeah, she was right all along." So I have her involved, and she's a phenomenal artist and designer. So, she's involved in all of those things. And I trust her instincts and stuff when it comes to people. And so, you know, we converse about any decisions with hiring. One of the things we'll do when we hire people is we'll take them to dinner to get to know them on a little bit more intimate level with their spouse or significant other if they have one, or just one-on-one. And, as part of that process, you know, then I very much, you know, say, "Lou Davia, what do you think??" Because it's easy for me to run into something, and she has more of that radar, if you will, than I do. So.

Twanna Henderson: Yeah. Yeah. That's a woman thing.

Mike Harvey: It is. It certainly is.

Twanna Henderson: So, well, you know, that's pretty amazing. Has working alongside her influenced your personal relationship, you know, in any way? Or, you know, how has it influenced your personal relationship?

Mike Harvey: Yeah. So, you know, working with her, involving her in the decisions, because really, at the end of the day, I made a very, very important decision when we first started. Because I grew up in an entrepreneurial family. My dad was a business owner, all this stuff. And I remember, there was a time where my mom, and it caused a source of contention, she was like, "Well, I don't own anything, my name is not on the business," you know, and all this stuff. So I made a decision early on. I said, "you're part owner," I said, "We live in the state of California anyway. So if even if I say I'm 100%, owner, you're still half owner, right?" But I made it, I made a point to put her on all the paperwork, because I want her to feel that level of ownership. But I also, we continue to have conversations to this day, you know, she homeschools and raises the family, but continues to provide wisdom, right?

Twanna Henderson: Yeah.

Mike Harvey: I said, "I want you to be in a place where you feel comfortable that if anything were to happen to me, you can take care of yourself." And of course, you know, she's set up by life insurance and all that stuff. But I said, "I know, you probably couldn't step into my role in the business, but I want to equip you to where you can, to a level or to a degree, know that, if we lost everything tomorrow, there was no life insurance money, Mike got hit by a bus, she can continue and figure out how to provide for herself and the children." I don't want her to feel handicapped in any way. So, we make a point to involve her in especially the critical decisions. And I'm able to take care of it, right? But I want her to not feel restricted or not feel like she's dependent upon me in that way. But where she's, it's more of like, I want to be with you not because I have to be with you.

Twanna Henderson: Yeah, I think that is so good. I mean, you'd be surprised at how many families where you don't have the spouse who's included the other spouse, particularly included the woman, and just in a lot of things and unfortunately I've seen so many times where one spouse left or passed away or whatever. And typically the woman was just clueless about everything and just didn't know anything. And that's a horrible place to be in. I know you mentioned the kids and her homeschooling who, hats off to her for that.

Mike Harvey: Yeah, it's a job.

Twanna Henderson: Oh my goodness. But how does all that work? I mean, how do you define and just kind of balance the roles in terms of with business and just life partners, particularly with three kids?

Mike Harvey: Well, that's really what it is. We are life partners. Yeah, she's intentionally the business partner. And she's intentionally included in the decisions and knowledge of that, but it's not like the old days, at least that probably a lot of us grew up in. Dad goes work, he comes home, and mom takes care of everything else and shoes off, and I'm done for the day, right? I want her to know that we're not just business partners but life partners, and I'm going to come and I'm going to help you with whatever you need. So, we do everything together. And I said often and I consciously made a decision back then when we decided to get married, I said, "I'm gonna do this once. I got one shot at getting this right. So I'm gonna make sure that we get it right." And the same thing with our continual marriage or our continual kids. It's an investment, right? So if I say, "Hey, you know, I'm done with this," and I want to go get a divorce, and I want to marry someone else, or whatever, it continues to be work. So why not just continue putting in the work with the woman that I love that's my soulmate? That’s raising my children? Because I've seen plenty of other guys, friends of mine, that have gone the other way, and they've said themselves, "Man, I wish I could, I wish I would have just made it work with the first one."

Twanna Henderson: Yeah.

Mike Harvey: So you know, we put in work all the time in even as much as going to maintenance things like marriage retreats and just having time away. We intentionally have date nights. We're very intentional about most things we do, and especially raising kids, and I think that's one of the blessings that has come out of also being intentional and waiting until we were a little older to have kids. God gave us, you know, a different level of wisdom as we get older, and we were a little more mature than a lot of our friends were.

Twanna Henderson: Hopefully, we've gotten that wisdom. But that I think that is so good. I mean, just in terms of understanding that whole process of just togetherness and everything. Now the two of you serve in ministry together and have shared ministry as well, correct?

Mike Harvey: That's right.

Twanna Henderson: Talk about your shared ministry and how it shapes your, your daily life and the decisions that you make together.

Mike Harvey: Okay, so I'm probably an oddball in this situation. And my wife's fully bought into my oddities. But I look at it like, I don't put things in boxes, right? I don't separate. It's all ministry. Everything I do is ministry. My business. My love of 511 media. 1 Thessalonians 5:11. It is very intentional. So business is ministry. My relationship in leading my team is ministry. My relationship in my family is ministry. And that, that's really the first and foremost. My relationship with my wife and then my relationship with my kids and then anything we do at the church. It's just us living life together. And so, do we do specific things in the church and serve and help? And yeah, she's on the worship team. And I've been through seasons right now. Um, I've pulled back a little bit because I'm focused on a couple things. But I've been, you know, in the sound and the technical department. Ran those at the church. And so we work together in that way. But we don't look at that as, "Okay, so this is my box for ministry. Check that box. Okay. Now, this is my box for work, check that." It's just we're living life together, and everything we do is together.

Twanna Henderson: Yeah. Yeah. I'm glad you said that, because so many people do live life like that. And everything that we do is ministry. I mean, wherever we are. I mean, at the grocery store, everything is ministry. And I think when we have that perspective, it does help us to live our lives a certain way. The way that we're called to live them. But that deal still doesn't mean that there aren't issues that come up or disappointments that come up. When those times come up, how do you handle those things? I mean, who's winning?

Mike Harvey: Well, really at the end of the day, I mean, it's easy to say, "Oh, well, I won, or she won or whatever", that you either both win or you both lose. There's no one side that wins or one side of the loses because where do you go with that? Well, I win all the arguments. Okay, well, then at some point, you're likely to have some pretty big marital problems. Okay, so then you both lose, right?

Twanna Henderson: Yeah.

Mike Harvey: So, you know, I think a couple of the biggest things that we've done is we're transparent. We talk about things. "Hey, you know what, this is bothering me." And sometimes, I will just be very transparent, sometimes we have it out, right? We, you know, sometimes it gets ugly, but in those ugly moments, we make sure and come back and let's repair this. I'm not talking about any kind of abuse or anything like that. But yeah, tensions get hot and that kind of stuff.

Twanna Henderson: Yeah.

Mike Harvey: Actually, those are the times that we get deeper, right?

Twanna Henderson: Yeah.

Twanna Henderson: But we make a point to be intentional about that. We come back and you know what, I got to own it. I messed up. I'm sorry.

Twanna Henderson: Yeah. How'd you get so wise, Mike?

Mike Harvey: Honestly, one, I think it's just a blessing from God. But having good mentors. I think that's the number one thing I've done in my life, is make sure that I have good mentors. Even my team, they have authority and license in my life to check me. You got to have somebody that's gonna hold you accountable and check you and be man enough or woman enough to receive that. And I've even gone so far as I have had people that hate me tell me off. Like, alright, God, what can I learn from this? Because, yes, maybe I'm only 5% in the wrong. But that 5%, I want to know what it is. And I want to learn.

Twanna Henderson: Yeah, that's good. That's good. Can you share a specific challenge that deepened your bond and partnership in some sort of unexpected way?

Mike Harvey: Well, I can give you an example of one recently. So we just got done moving. During that time, you know, men and women are built different. So for me, I was like, "Hey, where are we gonna go? Where are we going to move?" And I was like, "Ehh it's no big deal. We'll figure it out." And she was like, "No, we gotta know." It was a big deal to her, but it wasn't a big deal to me. And I was like, "Well, I think God's testing us in this," I said. "But I think this test isn't for me. I think this test is for you." And I learned that there was a part that was for me. My part wasn't like, "how's God's going to provide for us?" My part was, "how am I going to interact with my wife?" Because I've seen God come through in big ways way too many times. There's no doubt in my mind that he was going to come through in that time as well. What I learned was that part for me is, "how can I support my wife because she's going through the trial and the testing of her faith right now."

Twanna Henderson: Yeah.

Mike Harvey: And so as we went through that, it got a little rocky. But we continued to come back and work it out. Because it's too important. It's too important for my family. It's too important for my kids. And one of the things that I hold on to and say very frequently in life and in business, paraphrasing at least scripture, "what good is it to gain the entire world but lose your soul?" And I look at my family, my kids, my wife, as a piece of my soul. So I go and make, and I've always made this comparison, not to say you can't have both, because I'll get there in a second. But, you know, if I go and make $100 million in my lifetime, and I'm, you know, private jets and mansion on the hill, and Ferrari in the driveway, but my kids are doing drugs or, just as bad, not serving the Lord but living a good life by the world standard.

Twanna Henderson: Yeah.

Mike Harvey: I lost. Simultaneously, if my kids are serving God, but I'm living in a two room shack, I still won.

Twanna Henderson: Yeah.

Mike Harvey: You can have both. All it takes is one diligence, perseverance but also submission to the Lord.

Twanna Henderson: Yeah. And I think that's definitely key. That submission to the Lord. And, and I think just wisdom on your part, just recognizing your wife's sense. You know women, we need security. We like to feel that we're secure.

Mike Harvey: That's right.

Twanna Henderson: Yeah. And recognizing that was a need of hers. As a man, that's not as important to you, because you that's not how you're wired. But for women, we're totally different. That is something that we need.

Mike Harvey: Men can go live in the car and be perfectly fine.

Twanna Henderson: Exactly. Exactly. I don't want to live in my car.

Mike Harvey: Especially you got babies, right? You don't want your babies living in the car.

Twanna Henderson: Exactly. Exactly. So yeah. So getting to that place of just recognizing the sensitivity that she had in that moment and not blowing that over, but saying "okay, I'm at a different place and I have a different need, but I recognize that she she's in a different place, and I need to provide that for her." I know you mentioned about having mentors, and oftentimes we are impacted or influenced by other couples. Are there couples, whether they in history or scripture or personal acquaintances, who've inspired your joint journey?

Mike Harvey: Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Many of them, including my parents. And what I've always, or at least frequently tried to do, is look at, okay, where are they winning? Where can I make improvements in my own life and learn from their mistakes and successes. My business partner is also my pastor. So, you know, that's another marriage. They've been married a long time, and I learned from him. One of my very long-time, good friends, and recently hired as a consultant for our business, is another one who's been through his ups and downs, but he's become a mentor of mine. He's about 15 years older. I give these men, including my father and my mother, permission to speak into my life. Call me, check me when I'm wrong, because I'm wrong often. Far, far from being right all the time. And I think part of that is it takes thick skin, and it takes a lot of confidence to understand just because I make mistakes doesn't mean I'm a bad person. So you can call me on those things, because I need to be and because I want to be a better person. So that and then I've had many others as well that have been in my life in and out over the years, and many of them have been people, ministry partners, or people we've done stuff with.

Twanna Henderson: What are two lessons that you've learned from the people who have influenced your life as it relates to just your marriage and your role as a husband and as a father? Two lessons?

Mike Harvey: I was sharing a little bit about how I spent quite a bit of time just reflecting upon myself. So one of the biggest lessons was just self awareness. I spent a year and a half to two years, somewhere in that timeframe, with a group of people that had a very different outlook and personality than me, to get them to really help me to be more self-aware. Because by nature, I'm someone who's very fast moving, hard-driving. I'm just highly motivated, and I'm going for the goal. And if you get in my way, you're just gonna get run over. And by nature, I can be very insensitive. But I've had to learn to be very self-aware and aware of the things I say and how they affect other people and the things that I do, which has been great because it's brought a lot of maturity. It's actually also helped in ministry, because just my self awareness of "okay,  don't be that way. Yes, that's how you get things done, but it's not how you treat people." So that's number one. And then number two is, and this is kind of semi related, is patience. Not that I'm there. That's a long journey and a long road. But being more patient, because iron sharpens iron. My wife is built very differently than I am built. And that's not a bad thing. It's in fact, a good thing. Because they're there to rub the rough edges off.

Twanna Henderson: Yeah, that's good. You sort of answered this in a way, but I want to ask it specifically. How would you say that the both of you would define success in terms of your business, your family life, your ministry? What is success?

Mike Harvey: Well, I think, when I say this, I'm like, "Okay, I know the right answer." But I want to make sure and I internalize the right answer. So, for me, I really hope when the rubber meets the road that my life displays this. The right answer is living a life that glorifies God. And that means having a family that glorifies God. Kids that are raised in such a way that they never depart from it. And if God should allow it, and we're diligent with the work that he's given us, a business that that blesses others and makes an impact for the Kingdom.

Twanna Henderson: Okay. Great. So that's the right answer. Is there a different answer?

Mike Harvey: No, I mean, that is how I feel about it. I just always want to be very reflective upon myself. Is that truly the life you're living?

Twanna Henderson: Yeah.

Mike Harvey: And I believe it is. But yeah. So the only reason I make that distinction is because it's easy to say that, but it's another thing to look at your life and if you're living that.

Twanna Henderson: Absolutely. That's the key. That's the key. Well, I know that there are probably couples who are considering working together or are taking on shared ministry in various ways, and are just really just trying to figure out how it all makes sense. As we prepare to close, and this has been really, really good, I'd like for you to really pray for couples who are in the season of their lives where they're just trying to come together as one, They should be as one, but a lot of times that's not the case. They're really trying to get on the same page and really trying to connect as one in various aspects of their lives. Can you just take a moment and pray for them?

Mike Harvey: Yeah, absolutely. Dear Lord, I just want to thank you for this time with Twanna for this time for hopefully, your words to proceed from my mouth and for your spirit to go out, God. I pray that those who are listening to this would receive from it, God. I pray that you would open their ears to hear, open their heart to receive, God. And, Lord, I pray that you would give wisdom to somebody who's listening to this that's sitting there and wondering which direction am I supposed to go? Am I supposed to go into business? Am I supposed to go work for somebody else? Am I supposed to work with my spouse? Whatever that may be, Lord, I pray that you speak into that situation, and that you would give that person and their spouse the same message that they would be able to line up and confirm, "Okay, this is where God's moving us." And I pray that, God, if someone's out there listening, and they're like, "Man, this is this is a good message. I think that, you know, my spouse or significant other should hear this." I pray that they would have the courage and the boldness, because I think sometimes it does require that, to share this with their spouse, so that they can move forward in what you're calling them to do. In Jesus' name, amen.

Twanna Henderson: Amen. Thank you so much. Real quick. Tell us again. 511 Media Group. Just give us this a little bit about 511 Media Group.

Mike Harvey: Yeah, absolutely. So, 511 Media Group is an organization doing a whole bunch of things. Building a podcast network to promote the values of faith, family, and freedom. We're working with a lot of ministries and churches to do that. And if you want to find out more about that, probably the best place to go check that out is on my website, mikeharvey.org.

Twanna Henderson: Great. Well, Mike, thank you so much. This has been really, really good. It was worth the wait, us connecting to be able to do this. Thank you for opening up and sharing your heart. I wish you the best going forward. And I look forward to connecting with you. To all of our listeners, thank you for joining us today. I'm Twanna Henderson. Be blessed of the Lord.