Keep your seat at the table

Twanna Henderson: Welcome to T Time: Spiritual Conversations For With and About Women. I'm your host, Twanna Henderson and I want to remind you to take a moment and like this podcast and share it with your friends and other women in your life. Well, our guest today is a very special person and a new friend. Our guest is Carmen Halsey. Carmen serves the Illinois Baptist State Association, also known as IBSA in the role of director of leadership development, and the Illinois women's missionary union executive director. Professionaly, Carmen is a registered nurse and spends spent most of her career in healthcare administration until God directed her to IBSA. She has a graduate degree in management of organizational behavior. And in her role with IBSA, Carmen has the privilege of serving alongside Illinois Baptist women to train, equip and resource multi-generational women, enabling them to engage their worlds and share the gospel. Carmen, Welcome to T Time.

Carmen Halsey: Thank you. I'm glad to be here.

Twanna Henderson: Well, let's first talk about your God story from healthcare administration to discipling women. How did that happen and why are you passionate about discipleship to women?

Carmen Halsey: Sure, well Twanna, I married John right out of high school, 17 years old. Went to nursing school and really, that was my career path and to raise a family. I had a two year associate's degree as a registered nurse. And it was as a teenager, I accepted Christ through an Awana program. But it was only as a young adult, that God had basically stumbled me into a church, where I was first introduced to discipleship where I was raised in Eastern Kentucky is not a slam, but the churches I was in there just wasn't any discipleship. So I really didn't know what it was to look for it. But once I was introduced to it, I was hooked. And the more God started to work in my life, I saw that pour out through workplace. And without even knowing what I was doing, I think it was just Invitational to invite people to the table.

Twanna Henderson: Wow. So talk about the passion that you have, and to just see women, you know, be discipled.

Carmen Halsey: Sure. When you see the change that it makes in somebody when they realize that God is real, he's alive and has a purpose for their life. And that word transforms lives if we actually take that word and put it into action. That's catalytic. For myself, it's only looking back where I spent so many years in the marketplace, to see the transformation that could happen in the lives of people that eventually transformed organizations. And that's really what led me back to school with organizational behavior. I didn't even know that was the thing until I was introduced to it. And I'm like, that's what I've been doing. I want to learn more and study in that area to be more effective at it.

Twanna Henderson: Yeah. You know, that transformation process is so important. Do you see women kind of making Christ savior of their lives, but having little interest or even know-how, and making him Lord of their lives?

Carmen Halsey: I couldn't agree more. I don't think we realize we're doing that. I really think that's a blind spot. But I think that's where the church needs to step up a little bit. To talking to myself first. We're good at inviting people in and giving them that ticket, you know, to make him savior, but they're never interested in moving beyond the door to actually giving him lordship. And to me, that's discipleship. That whole word is our playbook. And when we study it, and start to apply it, our lives start to transform. They look different. And to me, that's what makes us stand out in our communities, in our workplaces, and so forth. But I believe so many of us stop at the door, just like my story. Because we weren't taught we need to go that step further.

Twanna Henderson: Yeah. You know, we live in some really crazy times. And it seems that we have more and more distractions than ever, that seem to pull us away from the things of God. How do you see women being equipped to reach a lost world?

Carmen Halsey: Sure. I couldn't agree more that the culture is getting more and more complicated, and it changes so quick, that I think we can't do this alone, which is why I'm passionate about the church with the big C church, not necessarily a denomination, but also my passion for discipleship. And with women. Women are integrated into every aspect of the church as well as their homes, their communities, their workplaces. So when we can equip them with even common leadership skills, understand how to communicate how to lead, you know, situational leadership, how to raise up leaders. Again, that's like yeast working through a batch of bread, it impacts not only them, but the people. And that brings about change.

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Carmen Halsey: I don't think we stop and think enough that we have to develop leaders to even think what that is. Sometimes leadership development is a broad term. And to me, it's so tangible. If we look at it in two things like skills, what are some skills? How to communicate? How to set goals? How to lead change? Conflict resolution. But there's also capacity. In other words, what does God have me doing today? And how do I help somebody see doing that on a broader platform, as God starts to increase our influence? He doesn't camp us out in one area and leave us there, he moves us. And again, that's why I look to women. And when we can open their eyes and help them see their potential, and the why behind it, it's a little bit easier to get them to the table, where they want to be a better than just let me let me learn these skills, so I can be a more effective communicator, I will be a change agent. How do I lead followers leaders and so forth?

Twanna Henderson: You know, a lot of women, you know, feel as though you know, I'm not this minister, or, you know, this great Bible teacher or something, what are some of the opportunities you see, for women in the marketplace?

Carmen Halsey: You name it. Sometimes I feel like we get hid behind titles. And that is such a dis justice. I look back over my career. And often what I entered the organization with is not the job I had when I left. And it's very similar to my story right now. It's as if God choreographed it just for me. And he's doing that for each one of us as an individual. So I look to God and say, God, what job do you choreograph for them? But really, it's any place that God has you. Because we think of leadership often on an org chart as leading down who's under us. And the first thing I like to tell women is, you need to look at where you're on the org chart and realize that God will let you lead out, yes, down. But more importantly, you'll lead up more often than your eyes recognize it.

Twanna Henderson: Okay, I like that leading up. So how do you develop leaders and women leaders in particular?

Carmen Halsey: Sure. One of my most favorite things to do is when I see them is just listen, try to listen to what they're saying, what are the questions behind the question? Where does God have them camping out? Where's their passion? And then I love leadership coaching. So discovery questions are my friend. So I just lean in a posture of curiosity, and just continue to ask and learn more about that person. When a person feels like they're authentically seen. They're willing to listen. And you can usually help somebody see their potential, and maybe for the first time seeing themselves as an influencer. And we're all influencers, but that's the first step is getting somebody to recognize it. Once they're to the table, there's a variety of ways there might be baseline assessments, storytelling, different things, just to see where they're at. And then help them get a better idea of how God designed them and how they tick.

Twanna Henderson: Who are some of the people who have made those impressions on you, you know, to get to this place, you know, and this journey, you know, we all have individuals who have deposited into us are there, people who have, you know, been there or who've been very impressionable in your life?

Carmen Halsey: Sure. I'd have to point to Blackaby. You know, it's because "Experiencing God" was the first course or discipleship course, that I took. But truthfully, it was a couple in my church that invited me to the table to take that course. So Tony and Lana, but when I look in the workplace, God has often used people that may not have been believers, but they led me so, Jim Bantay, a vice president of organizational leadership at a health system I worked with, I was at a table that I was not credential to be there. but I was there, and I was learning. And I was like a sponge, soaking it up, realizing God had me there because I didn't qualify to be there. So I believe that you should always be in a posture to see who God's crossing your paths with. Because sometimes it's indirectly that he's pouring into you. And it comes from routes that you're not aware of, or expecting. But that's all the more importance of discipleship, that I'm being a disciple first, who's abiding with Christ. So as I'm spending my time with Him, the Holy Spirit is getting to connect those dots for me.

Twanna Henderson: Yeah, isn't it great how God would just put us in tables that, you know, that you're wondering, "how did I get here," you know?

Carmen Halsey: Amen, amen. But Twanna, we got to keep our seat at those tables. I would be remiss to not point to my late husband, Keith, he's been gone a little over two years. But as a young woman, as a young nurse in health care, he was the one that would tell me, Carmen, get a backbone, Carmen, keep your seat at the table. And he would remind me of accomplishments that I had, because I would often see me and compare me to whoever, and I would want to shrink back disqualifying myself. And as the believer husband, he would tell me, God is the one that credentials you you go and confidence where he puts you. And that's why we have to be a learner and trust that God will let us learn along the way. Yeah,

Twanna Henderson: I think that's great. And you mentioned your late husband, and, you know, you know, a lot of times we have people in our lives who are close to us and people that who, who do kind of help us on that journey. And, and a lot of times, you know, those are the individuals who can help to, to direct us, you know, and shape us to where we're really supposed to be. And it makes a huge difference. Do you see leadership development as evangelism tools?

Carmen Halsey: Most definitely. I say this all the time Twanna. Nobody should be developing leaders, second to the church, because it's the heart of leadership, it's the character of leadership. And so when we realize that, and then look outside, the marketplace is hungry for leadership development. The books can't stay on the shelves, the podcast , you know, the audio tapes. So there's no reason we can't teach leadership skills, some of those same competencies I referenced earlier. And when we do that, that's inviting to people. But as a faith based leader, our stories and our context, in our case, studies get to come out. And I'll point to Mark Miller, you know, with Chick-fil-A, that's a perfect example of how teaching leadership can be evangelistic. Because once people get to the table, they're curious about their story they want to learn from you. Well, the context of your life is catalytic, and then you just trust for the Holy Spirit to do what the Holy Spirit does.

Twanna Henderson: Yeah. And, you know, our stories are so powerful, you know, a lot of times we don't want to share our story, or sometimes we think we don't even have a story. But the stories are so powerful, and things that really will lead us, you know, and connect us to others. Sometimes with us not even recognizing that that's what we're doing. What's your process of identifying women and, and inviting them into the leadership pipeline?

Carmen Halsey: Sure. Well, formally, you know, with the role that I play for IBSA, once they're identified, I'll typically just look for an entrance step, because I know engagement looks different for each person that may be inviting them to a round table just to be part of a conversation. It may be inviting them into a cohort, six week cohort, where we talk about topics such as how do you lead when you're not in charge? You know, you don't have authority? Or how do you lead yourself well? It could be inviting them into an online class to grab, you know, skills such as coaching skills. On a personal level, it looks a little bit different, but the same. My goal there is I feel a little more that I can lean into that person a little bit stronger. And sometimes it doesn't look as formal. I have a young woman right now that I'm pouring into. And it seems like it's a little bit slower pace, because she's having to see herself in a leadership role first. I don't want to lose her because I know God's doing something in her life. But she doesn't come to the Table quite as quickly as somebody else. So we're focusing on how do we help her see her the way God has developed her. Examples of some of those might be like a StrengthsFinder test or Working Genius. Sometimes those assessments can be good conversation pieces and bridges to get somebody to that next step.

Twanna Henderson: Yeah. So how can we get in touch with you if they if they have questions about just the whole process of leadership development or, or just connecting with you?

Carmen Halsey: Sure, sure. The easiest way is probably by email at Carmenhalsey@ibsa.org, Illinois Baptists Women has a Facebook page, and you know, Instagram, but probably email is the is the easiest way to get a hold of me.

Twanna Henderson: All right. Now, we didn't talk about this question. But you know, oftentimes, there are books that, you know, women may, you know, defer to that helps them just in their leadership development. Is there any one book and I know, there's so many, but is there any one book that you would say, hey, you know, if there's anything that you can really read, that would, you know, help you, you know, on that path? This is one of those books that that were recommended.

Carmen Halsey: Sure, sure. There's a lot that I would on specific skills. If I was talking to just somebody trying to wet their appetite, I would say grab a Mark Miller book. They're easy reads they are wrote on a fictional character, but they're engaging, and probably one to start could be "Good Leaders Grow." One I start with oftentimes with people is "The Heart of Leadership." And again, those are Mark Miller books.

Twanna Henderson: Okay. All right. I think that is good advice. Well, Carmen, as we close, there are women listening, who are trying to figure out their next steps as it relates to their discipleship and their leadership development, especially since we're in a brand new year. What a wonderful time to set the course for their next steps. Do you mind just praying for women who desire to grow and to develop and to be used in a new way by the Lord in this season, and in this new year?

Carmen Halsey: I would love to take that opportunity. Let me pray. Father, God, you know, the women that are listening, you know what's going on in their life, and you know, what the next five minutes holds. Father, if my voice can be used at all to bring encouragement from you to them. Father, I just pray that they can see them, that they can see what you're doing in their life, that they can trust the fact that you have something so unique mapped out for them that has not been written yet. It's not in a book, you're writing it through them. Father, may they seek you with everything in them, and trust you with their next step, but not take that next step without coming to you for guidance and advice. Father, we love you. We want you to be glorified. And we know that you give us abundantly and exceedingly more than we ask. So that's what I'm trusting that you do in the lives of these women. God, may your kingdom initiatives be advanced because of their seat at the table. They're good, your glory, your will be done God and we pray this in Jesus name. Amen.

Twanna Henderson: Amen. Well, Carmen, it has been a pleasure to have you on T Time today. To all of our listeners, I am Twanna Henderson, and I look forward to connecting with you the next time. Be blessed of the Lord.